I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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