Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
