If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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