you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
