if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
