Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
