wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
