well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
