I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
