omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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