She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
