dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
