Can i not drive my cunt home
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
