Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You're like the curious george of whores
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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