Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
