ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
