Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
