Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
