Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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