O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize