oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
