y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
