He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
