so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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