It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
