I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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