Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
