it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
