i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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