Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
