the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
