her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
