If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize