dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
