Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
