omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize