how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
