He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
