there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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