Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
