Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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