are you so shy because you have an std?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
