And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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