What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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