Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
