spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
