Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
PANTIES FOUND
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
