Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
