Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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