I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
