im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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