You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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