I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
