i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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