just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
