Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
