Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I believe in your delicious
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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