On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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