Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
